Having your partner help with feedings
I hear this so much, I'd say I hear it more often than not. The breastfeeding parent wants the other parent to help with the feedings for a few different reasons, most commonly so that the partner can bond with baby, or so that the mom can rest. I'm open minded and I know that some families make this work just fine, but there are some risks to the breastfeeding relationship that I want you to know about.
First of all, your partner is going to bond with your baby. Feeding is not a requirement for bonding.
There are many other ways to care for baby and show love. My favorites are diaper changes, bathing and tummy time. In fact, the partner has the opportunity to show baby that love does not always have to be related to food.
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Regarding resting for mama, I hate to break this to you, but it is not going to give you much extra rest.
It would be recommended that you pump anytime you "miss" a feed, so if your partner is giving baby a bottle, you would want to pump around that time.
Now, if you have an abundant milk supply, you may be able to work around this, but again the general recommendation is to pump when baby is getting a bottle so that you are mimicking the demand and supply cycle.
Another big issue that can come up is either Another big issue that can come up is either baby having a hard time taking the bottle, or starting to prefer the bottle and refuse the breast. Crazy that it can go one of two extremes, right? It's tough to predict which way it will go and each baby is so different. If breastfeeding is going well, by trying to have a partner help with feedings you may end up causing yourself unnecessary stress.
If you are still thinking you might want to incorporate regular bottle feeding by a partner, here are some tips:
Wait at least 3-4 weeks. This way, baby will have a chance to get better at breastfeeding (they may not have mastered it by then, but some will be close). This is also a good strategy for pumping because if you start pumping too soon you could accidentally get an oversupply. By feeding directly at the breast as much as possible in the early weeks, you are getting in sync with baby and your body is going to figure out how to produce exactly what baby needs.
Consider what life will be like after your maternity leave. With so many people working from home now, will there be times when your partner has an opportunity to feed baby while you are working?
Have your partner use a slow flow nipple and do paced feeding. I like either Dr. Brown's or these Evenflo ones as they have a gradual slope from the
Use this opportunity for some self care. Perhaps go for a long walk, do some shopping, leisurely errands, get a haircut...many possibilities. You could feed baby right before you leave and leave a bottle of previously pumped milk for baby, then pump when you get home (assuming you are gone for 2-3 hours or so, if longer than that you might need to pump while out). This way you get to really take a break from baby, if that is something you are after.
Your baby may have an easier time taking the bottle if you are not around.
5. Pump right before you go to bed. If your partner is doing a middle of the night feed, you want to make sure you don't get too engorged and risk clogged ducts. It may be unavoidable for you to get up in the middle of the night, or pumping before you go to bed might be enough.
These are all IDEAS, every family and baby are different and this is not a substitute for working with a lactation professional. At the end of the day you need to do what is best for your own family and situation. I would be thrilled to help you in the process, without judgement, just information